However anyone heard about the haunted Christmas house, it's definitely there. It's on a relatively busy street -- for Hawaii, anyway. The houses around it are decked out in Christmas lights of all descriptions, so there's a lot of foot traffic as well. This house, however, stands out from the crowd, for obvious reasons. There's a Santa on the roof, but its face has been painted to look like a skull, and the reindeer look like they belong six feet under, but were dragged from the ground, still rotting and dripping with blood and viscera. There are little gremlin statues set as though they're working on an assembly line of broken toys that is coming out of the garage, and there are little severed doll heads strewn across the lawn. The strings of red lights strung around the house in various places flash randomly in an awkward, eerie cadence.
There's a note on the door that reads, /Come in. I'm sure you've been good good year. -Santa Claus/, where The 'u' in 'Claus' looks a little bit like a 'w.' It's a little over the top, but the decorations are very well done.
Joachim had heard about the haunted Christmas house and with a bit of free time and perhaps missing the northeast's snow, he decided to give it a shot. Dressed to go out in a pair of tan slacks, a dark shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a pair of sturdy sneakers, he showed up at the door, grinning at the note before heading in like it suggested. "Hello the house?"
With a couple days left before she absolutely has to report for work, Kirsi's still playing tourist. This sort of cheesy thing's right up her alley, so she arrives a few seconds after Joachim, peering at the severed heads and directions with a smirk, before she pushes the door open. She's in an "ugly Christmas sweater" of all things, atop jeans and "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas" Converse. Somehow those got brought with her to Hawaii. Priorities.
The house doesn't respond to Joachim -- at least, not directly. The hallway is 'decorated' with similar off-Christmas fare; a dead wreath here, an angel with little devil horns attached to it there, and at the end of the hall, a Christmas tree that would by put to shame by that of Charlie Brown. There's Christmas music in the background that seems to be being played on about half speed, and every so often skips or cuts out.
There's laughter from the end of the hall, but it sounds like other people's laughter, not anything sinister. "Oh my god, look," a voice can be heard to say from that same general direction.
Joachim turned to smile at Kirsi as she came in, giving her a wave. "Aloha. You too huh?" He grinned, looking around the room and taking in the various decorations. "This is pretty cool. I wonder if they do this every year." His head turned in the direction of the music and he winced. "Wow that's a good addition. And Christmas music is spooky enough as it is." He laughed, putting a hand out. "Name's Joachim. Read to go tackle whatever's in there?" He looked as the voice spoke out. raising an eyebrow and peering.
"Yeah, I'll probably regret it, but it's something to do, right? I already did the luau and I don't surf yet," says Kirsi, taking Joachim's offered hand. "Kirsi. Sure, why not?" she answers, regarding the next area. "Strength in numbers -- it's the person who goes off alone who gets murdered in the horror movies, right? You might be safe if you're a virgin, too, but that ship's already sailed for me. Best to keep someone nearby." She flashes a grin and begins to move along the hall.
When they get to the end of the hall, there's a door that leads into the room that might have previously been the living room. It's //really// decked out, though. There are little animatronic zombie elves working on those broken toys that were on the conveyer belt in the garage. There's another one that's moving like it's chopping up a Christmas tree to feed into a fireplace, and another as though it's throwing ornaments into it, as well. It's quite well done, honestly. Someone spent a //long// time setting this up. The other people must have moved on through the door on the other side of the room already, because they're no longer in here.
Joachim snorted and laughed, palming his face and chuckling. "Then it's a really good thing we've got numbers, because I guess no one's bringing that mojo tonight." Shaking his head and shaking her hand, he nodded to her and headed through the room where the laughter had come from. Taking it all in after stepping aside so Kirsi could enter as well, he grinned widely. "Oh my god look at this place! It's amazing!" He wandered about, smiling widely as he bent to look at the zombie elves. "I love these little guys! Hey Kirsi I don't suppose you have a camera with you do you?" He paused, stopping as he spotted something in the corner nearby. "What the hell are those? Oi!"
"Right?" Kirsi says with a smirk regarding the mojo neither of them still have, then moves closer to examine the little elves. "This is crazy good, like this guy must've worked for Disneyland or something," she agrees. She does, in fact, happen to have a camera, because she's still a tourist at heart. It's just a crappy little autoshoot thing, but she snaps a couple of pictures before turning to see what Joachim is referring to.
Outside the house, there are a few people who are coming out toward the street from the back of the house. As they get closer, their voices can be heard, and they sound impressed. "How do you think they did it all?" a girl is saying to her two friends. "I really hope they do it next year!" The others make agreeing comments as they continue down the street.
Whatever Joachim saw -- he did see it, right? Didn't he? -- it's vanished from sight. The little elves zombies continue chopping away at that Christmas tree, and moving to throw that little teddy bear ornament into the fireplace.
All of a sudden, there's a voice that comes over some sort of sound system reverberates through the living room. And a voice that can reverberate through the living room is pretty loud. "Put your backs into it!" it booms. "There's too many people on the naughty list this year! Ho ho ho!"
Conni arrives late, the Nordic blonde rounding the corner at a brisk jog before slowing down to a more acceptable pace. With perhaps a nod to the cooler weather, she brought a coat this evening, just a simple light affair should the heavens open. Under that she has on a grey camisole, cut high enough to leave some of her toned stomach in view. With that, she's worn light blue jeans and cowboy boots, the choice of footwear being regretted after the brief run.
Taking a moment to get her breath back, she spots Jaochim and offers him a waves. "Ah ha, it is the master of intestinal combat, you're looking well!" Her Danish accent is plain to hear as she gets closer, Conni pulling at the strap of her artist tube to settle the weight as she looks over the house. Hearing the voice over the speakers, Conni blinks and then sniffs. "Sounds nothing like him."
When Mila arrived to the Merry X-Mas house of potential horrors, it was with a wide smile on her face and her arm looped with her sister's. "Oh this is gonna be so fun, neh? I haven't done anything weird like this since that one summer I visited you in college!" Mila's voice rang with a glee that should have been reserved for children, but it definitely settled into her thoroughly. When she spotted Joachim, and then Conni, Mila gave an excited call "I see two of the naughty ones right here! And I've got a third I'm bringing in!" She laughed and came closer. "Aloha Joachim, Aloha Conni! Melikimikimaka!"
Mila and Keha had elected to pull no stops with thier dress tonight and the twins more matching, sexy Mrs Claus, outfits. Red gogo dresses with just tank-style straps at the shoulders that stopped with a hemline that showed off lots of well-defined thigh made up the majority of the outfit. On their legs were white and red candy-cane striped thigh highs that led down to a set of black converse allstars. Their long hair, bleached out by sun and fun to where it was decidedly an hombre look from dark brown to bright blonde, was worn down long to their mid backs. To top it all off? The twins had on red santa hats, complete with the little puffy white balls hanging from the end.
Joachim's eyebrows rose at the sudden and surprise nickname, and he laughed as he spotted Conni coming in. "Well hey! Just in time to join us!" He grinned and patted his stomach. "All back on the inside thankfully and a mostly true story to tell." He chuckled, gesturing to Kirsi. "Have you met our spooky time partner yet? This is Kirsi. Kirsi, Conni." He smiled, and then grinned widely as he saw both twins. "Hey there! Is that what I am?" He chuckled. "Aloha to you both. I know Mila's name but I don't think we've spoken since the last time we saw each other." He took both their outfits in and grinned. "Looking great. I should have totally dressed up but I didn't think about it." He raised an eyebrow at Conni's comment. "Huh? The voice?" He looked to where it had come from, shrugging. "I thought it was pretty good."
Clad in thigh-high candy cane stockings and a red gogo dress with a fuzzy white maribou trim, Keha follows her twin Mrs. Claus into the House of Holiday Horrors. Her Converse scuff along the floor as she bounces eagerly at her sister's side, laughing like a kid who's had waaaaaay too much Christmas candy. "Mele Kalikimaka Joachim and Conni! Making sure there's enough coal for all of our stockings?" She raises her free hand, the one not wound through the crook of her sister's arm, waving it overhead like a flag. "And Kirsi! Aloha and Mele Kalikimaka! Kaikaina, Kirsi is the one I was telling you about - Live aloha but take no shit. You're going to love her." She beams in evil delight at the little elves. "Look at these little Kolohe and all the charcoal they're making. I guess he really does see us when we're sleeping and know when we're awake. Oops."
"HO! HO! HO!" There are so few times in the year that Heath gets to say that without any stares at him or the drink in his hand. It was a flask, by the way, and Santa took his nips as needed. The man was dressed out in full Hawaiian Santa. Bright red with a white fur lining for his hat and trunks, blue and pink flowered Hawaiian shirt and a fake white beard and sandals to complete the illusion. Over his shoulder was a large felt bag that he set on the ground. "HO! HO! HO!" The man actually stopped to hand out stuffed animals and cans of beer. "MERRY CHRISTMAS! HO! HO! HO!" Santa may have been of questionable soberity, but the Christmas Spirit was there, and damn if anyone was going to tell Heath otherwise. Spying Mila and Keha in their Mrs. Claus outfits, "And you see kiddies, this is why Santa delivers toys in just one night! HO! HO! HO!"
And suddenly their little "power in numbers" twosome gets blown into a hexsome (that's not a word). "Hi," says Kirsi brightly to Conni when Joachim introduces her. That introduction is short lived before the Santa Claus-ettes enter, and Kirsi grins in recognition of... which? Luckily Keha puts that mystery to rest by greeting her. "Hey! You two look great. Nice to meet you, Mila," she says, offering hands to Conni, and then Mila. Heath is given a grin, his boisterous ho-ho-hos and outfit appreciated. She's in an ugly Christmas sweater, jeans, and Grinch converse, nothing to contend with the Christmas spirit of the three newcomers.
The little zombified elves keep on doing their little work all the while, never missing a beat. "Jingles!" the voice then booms out again over the speakers. "Fetch me my list!" Almost as though it's heard Keha's words -- or perhaps seen Heath's current state. But will all this put him on the naughty side, or the nice one? Of course, that's definitely impossible.
As soon as the voice says this, one of the elves on the assembly line who hadn't been moving starts to lift up its arm and bring it down again, and sure enough, there's something that looks like a little slip of paper in its hand. They really didn't miss a detail here, did they?
"Aloha!" Conni calls out, turning to watch as Mila and Keha arrive. "You both look delicious. How are you doing? It's been ages. Okay, weeks but still." She smiles, waving them over as she turns back to Joachim, nodding to Kirsi as she is introduced. "Pleased to meet you Kirsi. Now, what is this all about? I say the flyer but I might not have read to the end..." She grins as Heath arrives, eyeing his hip-flash for a moment before flashing him a smile. "Do you have an in-built party radar or something? If so...are they for sale?" Conni leans closes as she says this, not too close though, Heath might be flammable. She stops then, her posture stiffening as she listens to something. "Screaming, upstairs." Then she is off, the blonde making good speed as she charges towards a likely looking door, eyeing it for a moment before demolish the piece of wood with a spinning kick that leaves nothing but splinters behind.
Joachim gave Heath a nod as the man entered, remembering him from the zoo and raising a hand. "Hey man. You're looking better after all the hornet stings. Nice duds." When the voice called out and the little animatronic zombie elf started waving a piece of paper, Joachim peered at it, frowning. "Nice... naughty... visit on New Year's huh..." He stood and shrugged, grinning and looked to Heath again.
Mila grinned from ear to ear at Joachim, then did a little makeshift courtsy, tugging her sister down with her by the arm as she did so. "Mahalo, Joachim. We decided to have some of our Christmas fun, because on the day, we just hang out in PJs!" She chuckled brightly and then looked over at Kirsi, extending her hand and shaking Kirsi's firmly. "Maika'i loa, Kirsi. Always nice to hear I might have more haole worth getting to know on the island. Are you the surfer or was it someone else that she met?" Heath coming up behind them got a laugh, and Mila turned slightly to look at him, motioning him closer. "Well come on, Santa. Those presents won't deliver themselves to all the terrified boys and girls inside, neh? We need you bringing up the rear." Something caught Mila's attention then, her head tilting to the side and her brown eyes suddenly moving to the upward direction. When Conni took off like a bat out of hell, Mila called after her "PUPULE Conni! Hold up!" She looked back to Keha and spoke with slight worry "Someone's screaming and it doesn't sound... Fake, I guess?" Then the only slightly taller, slightly more muscular of the two twins started bounding up the stairs after Conni, and proving that her dress was a little too short for that sort of thing by flashing Christmas Green silk panties at everyone not higher than her on the stairs.
Joachim gave Heath a nod as the man entered, remembering him from the zoo and raising a hand. "Hey man. You're looking better after all the hornet stings. Nice duds." When the voice called out and the little animatronic zombie elf started waving a piece of paper, Joachim peered at it, frowning. "Nice... naughty... visit on New Year's huh..." He stood and shrugged, grinning and looked to Heath again. "Maybe you got it right... oop!" When the screaming started and Joachim watched Conni barrel up the stairs, he hesitated for about two seconds. After a moment he sighed and shrugged. "Well... so what if I don't know what Armaggedon means. It's not the end of the world..." He nodded to Mila, following along after. "Nope! Didn't sound fake to me!"
Keha gives the newly arrived "Santa" a hearty "Ho Ho Ho" right back. "Hey, Santa, would you believe me if I said I've been a good girl this year, and is there anything fun in that sack of yours for me?" Kirsi gets herself a good lookover before Keha cracks up. "I dig the sweater, that one is a piece of work! Artistry in ugly yarn. We should take selfies with these creepy little Menuhune-wannabes." Then the slightly-smaller Mrs. Claus is hauled down sideways as Mila drops into the little curtsey. "Ma-haaAAAAAlo, Joachim!" she echoes Mila, staggering sideways midway through the word as her surprise curtsey is really more of an emergency squat. "What's that you're reading?" Mrs. Claus #1 cants her head to the side as her poofball flops over one eye.
Of course, that's when Conni tears off through the door and Mila's off right after her, with Joachim following after. "Son of a - WHY ARE WE RUNNING? Kaikaina, cover your massive okole, I see London AND France!!" She shrugs back at Heath and Kirsi. "Is this part of the haunted house, where we go all Kool-aid man on the joint?" Keha takes off in the conga line after the scream.
"Santa needs his spinach, kids! HO! HO! HO!" Heath picked through his felt bag, tossing a couple of stuffed animals to get to a six pack, and pulling it out like a vine of ripe grapes, pulling a couple off to pass out before handing. "Come now, Little girl, Santa knows where all the best parties are! Why do you think he's in Oahu! I got your letter, Sweet thing, and has brought you all shiny, new shotguns! HO! HO! HO!" And sure enough, Santa Heath plucked off a loop off his belt, and there was metal hole punches for the cans. He started passing out the beer and can keys before shouldering his bag. "Santa fears no stinging insects!" His eyes sort of focused of Mila as she ran up the ramp. "When Mrs. Santa's flashes the naughty panties, it's time to go, else Santa will get nothing but coal for the year! HO! HO! HO!" The man shook with laughter as he made his way up the ramp and into the North Pole of Horrors after Keha.
"Something something unwrap your package," is Kirsi's quip to add to the Santa get-up and doling out of beer -- she's just met Heath or maybe it'd be less 'choose your own adventure.' She's about to say something in reply to Keha, but then she tips her head curiously, as if trying to listen to something in the distance. "Do you hear tha-" she begins, and that's about the time Conni goes running off to kick in doors. "It might be part of the set!" she suggests, because sometimes it isn't the supernatural making its evil presence known, but just the creepy imagination of some amateur Imagineer dude with more money and time than sense... but let's face it, it's probably the supernatural making its presence known. She follows suit. Santa-ette suits, in fact.
The door is torn completely off its hinges, and it clatters away as they all run toward -- and up -- the stairs. They're about halfway up when something appears at the top. It looks like a person, and yet it doesn't quite seem solid; the edges of its form are translucent, and its color is mostly a blueish grey. Not like an actual person at all. "Running running running!" a voice calls. It doesn't sound like the 'Santa' voice at all, and it seems to be coming from the figure at the top of the stairs. Then it throws back its head and laughs, just as another scream rips through the air, this time loud enough that everyone hears. It's muffled, but they're definitely on the right track, as a door can be glimpsed behind whatever it is. However, as Conny reaches the top, the figure makes a swipe for her with an arm-like appendage, and despite its ghostly appearance, it seems to be able to touch things.
Conni lets out a bark of pain as she is sucker punched by the ghostly figure at the top of the stairs, her own momentum only adding to the impact of the blow. The pain doesn't stop her though, if anything if just fuels the rage of the possibly insane Blonde as she continues to charge forwards, lifting an arm under what she hopes is the creature's throat and lifting it while continuing her charge, ending up with them both against the back wall. Hitting the wall, the figure explodes into a pile of goo, the front of Conni's outfit getting soaked in the process and the Valkyrie leaving a nice elbow shaped dent in the wall. "Okay..." She says, turning to survey the rest of the floor. "This is getting a little... odd."
Mila watched Conni and paused for a minute running up the stairs, eyes wide. "Conni... was that.. a balloon guy full of KY?" Her surprise registered briefly before she started laughing. "KEHA! This party is the shit! And you're just jealous my kokole looks so good in these panties." With that, Mila lifted her skirt up to give a better view of said Green Silkies, and then ran past Conni to grab hold of the door handle on the upper door. Throwing it open, she called out loudly "THE PARTY'S HERE! We have SANTA!" And then using the ectoplasm on the floor as a sort of slippery-slidy enhancer, Mila took a running leap and slid her way across the floor once she passed the doorjam, heading straight into whatever else awaited.
Joachim stared for a moment at the mess that was now Conni, before a somewhat manic look got into his eye and he grinned. "Actual physical contact!" He let out a short laugh and then started moving up the steps. Whatever he was about to say was cut off by the suggestion Mila had planted in his head, and you could almost hear the wood burning... "Huh..." Then he shook his head, clearing it as he remembered the screams and heading after the woman, shaking his head and laughing as she flashed them all. "Apparently I've been missing all the better parties. Gotta be less of a homebody." He still went after her despite his tone, moving into the room where they'd heard screaming, one hand kept behind his back, though empty.
Keha is chugging her beer from Santa Heath while bounding up the stairs, which has the added result of jostling free a rather resounding belch at the summit. "Sounds like somebody's getting their package unwrapped," she lopsidedly grins aside to Kirsi. Though, when she spots Conni, Mrs. Claus #1 wrinkles her nose and sticks out a finger to poke at the goo covering the blonde. "Eeew. Did you sneeze on yourself, Conni?" Sticking out her tongue like a child, Keha throws Mila a dirty look and before her twin can dash away, whips out her hand and soundly thwacks that shiny green okole, then laughs like a maniac. "So...these are still effects, right?" she asks as she takes another slug of her beer and follows after Joachim. "Right?"
Santa Heath came huffed and puffed his way up the staired, leaving out a "HO! HO! HO!" The man caught up to everyone, getting back out his hipflask to unscrew the top and take a drink. "Santa is going to have to make it snow if the cardio is going to keep up, but Santa may have an 8-ball of reindeer to help with that! HO! HO! HO!" Heath leaned against a wall, staring from one person to the next, his eyes lingering on Conni. "KY explosions and good tidings! Santa could have sworn he was on the Naughty list this year! HO! HO! HO!"
Muriel arrives rather late to the part scene - fashionably late, perhaps, as she slithers in, dressed in a cute green elf style dress, complete with long pointy elf ears and a green elf hat. Because, why not?
Peering around, she's really not sure what to expect, and she cant help but smirk at the freaky workshop setup, and the broken off door. "Ooh. I'm soo scared." she states blandly, turning the corner to peer at the commotion on the steps, arching a curious brow.
"Ooh, it's Santa. Do you have a gift for me too?" she smirks.
"Uh," says Kirsi, the festive manner from before gone now, as she squats to touch the goo and examines it, frowning a bit, and glancing at Conni, who seemed to be acting on more than just 'let's attack the props because it's cool' behavior. "Be careful, Mila," she says, and her tone is serious. "I don't think a person could make that thing." She hates to be the party pooper. She moves a little closer behind Mila toward the door, tucking her camera into her pocket so her hands are free.
As soon as the Mila opens the door -- before the smack -- it reveals a room that clearly //was// a party, but there's no music anymore, as the stereo has clearly been knocked over somehow and broken. There's a group of people huddling in the corner, dressed in a similar style to the newcomers but definitely not in the holiday spirit anymore. "Help us!" one of them shrieks when she sees the door open, probably since there's another one of those semi-transparent figures near to the door, and a third closer to the group. There's a man lying in the middle of the floor, too, and he looks real, as well as unconscious, blood dripping from his temple.
The figure nearer the door warps to be facing the people coning in from outside, and there's not much to differentiate it from the others except for what looks like a grin where its face sort of it. "BOO!" it screams, before it breaks into hysterical laughter just like the other one had. It clearly thinks that it's hilarious.
Then abruptly, the laughter ceases, and it lunges for Mila just as the other one had, while an eerie feeling that definitely wasn't there in the workshop descends on the room.
"I don't think so...KY is slicker and has a scent to it...apparently." Conni adds after a moment, trying to brush the worst of the goop from her top. She lets out a laugh as Mila uses the lube for an impromptu slip and slide, shaking her head but quite unable to hide her mirth. "You'll crack your head if you're not careful! Still laughing she watches as Jaochim approaches, "Do we start calling you Ray now? Also, isn't there a point where there is a lot of running and screaming?" Raising her hands in innocent, she gives Keha her best 'hurt' look. "I must have one major sinus problem if I did all this. Here, try some!" With that, Conni gathers up a sizable blow of the ectoplasm and flings it towards Keha, the blob hitting the wall with a squelch before starting to ooze done. Heath is the next up the stair and he has Conni protesting. "Why does everything think this is my lube!" She glances to Kirsi and nods with her conclusion. "The 'thing' punched me, quite hard too." Then there is the oddness, the queasy feeling at the pit of the stomach, it takes Conni a moment to get over it but get over it she does.
Mila stared at the Specter that got into their faces, well, her face especially. "BOO?! Did you just BOO me?!" She laughed darkly and then her face went deadly serious for a moment. "Don't worry mom, I got this!" The call back was likely for Conni telling her to be careful. "How about a hug, chump? I like that better than a little old school jump scare." And with that, Mila leapt forward, wrapping one arm around the specter, and flinging herself the rest of the way around it, trapping its to its side as she squeezed. Everyone got a nice, good look at the decidedly muscular woman's arms flexing, and giving the specter the best hug ever. "KEHA! Come here nui kaikuahine! Let's see if he pops!" And it was obvious that Mila was ready to start using the ghost as a heavy bag for Keha's boxing practice.
Joachim had kept his hand behind his back as he walked into the room, and as he took it in he started shaping his fingers into forms and figures, slowly but surely. At the sudden manic laughter, he started walking up and joined in. "HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! NAILS!" And then there were nails. Lots of nails. Not all of the nails but certainly enough pulled from the walls, floor and ceiling to fling themselves into the specter, the iron tearing into ectoplasm as magic flexed and Joachim backed up. He looked to the kids in the corner and yelled at them. "Now would be the time for moving!"
Keha reaches over to twirl the ends of Santa Heath's beard. "Welcome to the naughty list, Santa Baby," she grins, and as Muriel the Elf arrives, Mrs. Claus #1 grins from ear to ear and raises her beer. "Hot damn, the holiday help has arrived!" She tips a cheeky wink, but then has to dodge as Conni flicks that mucusy ectoplasm at her. "SICK!" she laughs, ducking low. As the door opens, Mrs. Claus #1 doesn't dive in as eagerly as her sister. Instead, the BOO takes her by surprise and she dodges back straight into Kirsi, screaming curse words in two languages and throwing her fists wildly. Beer goes everywhere, as the can in her fist is now crunched into an hourglass. Because scary as that thing is, now Keha's adrenaline is pumping...and that thing just took a swing at her sister. With crushed beercan in hand, Keha charges the spectre that Mila has grappled and...slips in ectoplasm and goes skidding. It's less impressive than she'd hoped, probably.
Santa straighten himself, and mutter something about the floor being crooked or crocked. The man still managed a cheerful 'HO! HO! HO!' as he rolled the felt bag off his shoulder and pulled it open to pluck out a fresh and icy beer for Muriel. "Santa has gifts for all the boys and girls!" With another spectre appearing, Santa got out another beer, made the sign of the cross over it. "Santa is old school!" The latin came out perfectly, "Benedic, Domine, creaturam istam cerevisae, quam ex adipe frumenti producere dignatus es: ut sit remedium salutare humano generi: et praesta per invocationem nominis tui sancti, ut, quicumque ex ea biberint, sanitatem corporis, et animae tutelam percipiant! Per Christum Dominum nostrum! Amen." The beer is cracked open, and the liquid flung and frothed about and Santa Heath made a big show of like he was on the fucking pulpit and was time to sermonize! And fuck that ghost, the goo is lube and in its crazy there may have been a choir of angels singing as Santa Heath spoke. There were no golden trumpets, but ghost are memories and his memories may have been some randy priests.
"Well, a merry Christmas to you too, Santa, Mrs. Santa." Muriel smirks and nods at their costumes, but gives pause as she hears that loud BOO!
"Uh..." ok, so there's screaming and people huddling and yelling and a spectery looking thing, and Muriel just..Stares, trying to separate fantasy from reality. "Huh... Nice special effects. I suppose it'll do for entertainment."
The realistic spectre and cowering people and blood does cause her to shiver just the slightest, laughing just a bit nervously as she watches. However, she takes no part in the tackling, just taking a step back and watching the spectacle curiously for a few minutes.
Kirsi backs up when the spirit cackles maniacally, dropping the beer-present which hits just the right angle to split and send beer foaming around. The place will smell like a bar, now, along with Heath's benediction. "Fuck you, Casper," she manages -- not one of her better quips, but for some reason the damn thing took her by surprise. Her hand rises when the one specter escapes from the surfer's bearhug, her fingers artfully crooked in an odd way and she makes a gesture in the air that looks like she's writing a very ornate letter; a moment later there's the sound of slashing and the feeling of wind displaced, though nothing visibly can be seen attacking the specter.
"Yeah, BOO, BITCH!" The ghost laughs again, though then it's taken down by Mila. It doesn't stop laughing, though, and when Keha goes for it, it manages to slip out of Mila's grasp and evade Keha's hit. Its strange gaze locks onto Keha this time, but before it can do anything else, it's slashed by Kirsi's spirit blade. Its face warps with rage as it takes a swipe at Keha again, because it doesn't know whether it's coming or going at this point.
The specter near the group of people starts to lunge at one of them again, but it's suddenly impaled by all those nails. It gets blown back just in time for Heath's words. There's an unearthly scream as its ectoplasm bursts apart, showering the group behind it. However, they don't need Joachim to tell them twice. Most of them get up and start to make a run for the door, except one woman who kneels by the unconscious man. "David! David, wake up, come on!"
"Note to self, don't 'Boo' Mila." Conni grins as she says this, finally entering the room to take stock of the situation. "Woah, nice erm nails?" She nods to Joachim, appreciating the magic but not quite sure of the technique. It's hard not to chuckle as Keha goes for a slide but Conni does her best to keep it in, having seen what happens when you anger the twins. He listens with a frown on her face as Heath recites latin pretty much perfectly, not understanding the language herself but aware enough to know when someone is faking. "Okay, so you're full of surprises." He offers a wave to Muriel as she enters, nodding in agreement with her assessment. "They went all out, super realistic stuff here." Conni pauses as she watch Kirsi, the symbol she writes in the air being somewhat familiar to the Valkyrie. "Ah ha..." Not saying more of it, a wry grin settles on Conni's face, the Dane suddenly a lot happier.
Watching as the spectres start to circle, Conni tries to pick out the healthiest one, the one that is likely to linger. Rushing forward, she yells something quite unintelligible but most certainly insulting before slamming into the spectre, trying to pin is writhing form against the wall and mostly succeding. "Wacky! Nail this one please! Or anyone!"
Mila looked positively confused as the Specter wriggled free of her arms, causing her to give Keha a curious expression. "Wriggly thing.... WHAT did you just call me?!" The thing might have gotten away from her, but then Conni had a nice hug on the semi-real entity, and it was all Mila needed. "You know? I never liked being called bitch. Especially since it kind of shows your lack of Imagination. Mr Boo!" Mila fluttered her fingers out and made a horrid face at the Specter, obviously putting scorn into her words. Looking at it, she hauled back her hand and brought it around for a sound slap that had the thing's head turned sharply to the side at impact. "You should think before you talk! Insults should be awesome, not boring!"
Joachim nodded happily as the second specter found itself confounded by the nails that studded it's body. As the kids fled, he moved to put himself between it and them, raising a hand in a warding gesture. There was something burning in his eyes, a sort of delight as their color grew bright in the darkness of the room. He turned his attention to the others and he laughed at Conni's comment, nodding. "Right then..." He rolled up his sleeves which were already rolled up anyway, holding up one hand. "Everybody! EYES!" He spoke in a strange, little heard language as he let his fingers splay out in the air. A disc of light appeared at each limb and around it's neck, and as he finished his intonation the ectoplasmic body was severed, leaving it to fall as it might, the laser like blades fading. "That'll do?" He grinned
Fortunately, when Keha goes slip and sliding, she slides right out of the way of Kirsi's spirit blade. As Joachim nails the other spectre, the little brown-and-blonde haired Mrs. Claus grins wolfishly. "Yeah, you really showed that TOOL!" she lays the pun on thick as she gives him a thumb's up and waggles her brows. Santa Heath's beer blessing gets a snicker and when the spectre calls Mila a bitch, Keha just whistles and shakes her head. "You're gonna regret that, Maha'oi!" The very slightly smaller Mrs. Claus turns away from the angry Mila and Joachim's light show to the other spectre, on his last legs. Her grin pulls too wide and she starts to sing, "Deck the halls with with gooey beer cans, fa la la la la...la la eat fist," as she plunges the crushed beercan right through the spectre's spectral skull, decking herself in ectoplasm as well. "Hey...is that guy okay?" she asks, dripping goop but looking at the unconscious man on the floor.
"Indeed. And yet people would rather fight it than sit back and enjoy scariness, I guess..?" still, she scratches her head, not entirely certain it's just special effects. Still, she keeps a safe distance, just observing and enjoying the fun spectacle. Hopefully none of them come too close to her, although she doesnt seem terribly scared - except maybe that they'll mess up her pretty elf dress.
"Seriously, get a dictionary for Christmas. Oh, you can't, you're dead," adds Kirsi to the berating of the specter for its uninventive language. She turns away when Joachim blasts the other with light, before moving to the man who's lying unconscious, stooping beside him and reaching for his wrist to feel his pulse, pulling out her pink Blackberry to call 9-1-1. She gives the address, then says, "Donno, we're at this haunted house thing and he was just knocked out. Lots of alcohol, maybe some frat boys beat him up," she tells the dispatcher. "Thanks." She stands straight again, glancing at everyone else who's been fighting, and says, "So the first rule of Ghost Fight Club is..."
The spirit-slashed spirit -- yes, that's what I said -- attempts to get out of Conni's grip, but it can't dodge away before Mila's coming for it to slap its face, and then Joachim sends that attack at it. It bursts into a hail of ectoplasm, and this time there's no pulling itself back together. That goopy, blueish-grayish matter is already starting to fade as one last scream fades into the ether.
The other specter had just barely reformed, when Keha smashes her fist into it, and it explodes again, this time never to return. One hopes.
The man on the floor groans, so at least he's not dead, though he is still bleeding. "He's okay but he's bleeding! Please help!" the girl who's attending him cries, as she takes off her sweater and puts it to the man's head to attempt to stop the bleeding, looking at Kirsi gratefully for the call. She is too distraught to appreciate the jokes. Perhaps she'll think back on this incident and laugh at them. But probably not.
"I'm not much of a medic but is there anything you can do for him?" Conni glances to Kirsi and then her phone, "I really should bring mine with me more often." Backing away from the wall, she does her best to wipe the new deluge of KY from the front of her outfit. "He slimed me..." There is a dejected quality to Conni's voice, the goo really getting everywhere and doing wonders for transparency with her clingy top. "Right..so was that the last of them. Is there like a circle in here anyway and most importantly, Heath, do you have any more beer?"
Mila flung her hands at the floor and sputtered as ectoplasm just exploded from the specter as it met its demise. Looking over at Joachim, she gave him a thumbs up while trying to blink her eyes and get the goop off of her eyelashes. "Nice shot... wow." Kirsi's statement gets a chaka from one hand and Mila points directly at her with the other. "Soul SISTAH SING IT! If you can't insult creatively, stay home!" She growled it out at the depleting ectoplasm puddles on the floor before she walked over and slipped an arm around Keha's shoulders, sharing the goo love a best she could. "Sometimes I wish you were that kind of doctor, nui kaikuahine." She nodded towards the guy on the floor and then smiled to Kirsi. "Glad you called the paramedics, it's small island and there are a bunch of them around, they should get here really quick." Mila's attention turned to Conni with her request for Beer, and she perked up, shaking her head to send some of the ectoplasm from her hair and face to go everywhere, including onto her sister. "Conni has the right idea, Heath?" She blinked again, looking around. "Is that the santa with the drinks? Because I could totally go for some santa drinks right now."
Joachim looked to Kirsi and shook his head. "I bought the worst thesaurus the other day. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible." He smiled at her, and then nodded. "Yep. Though actually if anyone ever wants to talk..." He just threw it out there, looking to the young man on the ground and shaking his head. "I'm afraid I never learned any first aid. The ambulance should be here soon..." He looked to the others. "Which maybe means which should not be?" He blinked and looked to Conni, grinning enormously as he put up a hand for a gooey high five. "I knew I liked you. We should totally hang out more often." He nodded at her comment and looked to Heath. "I could REALLY use a beer." The tension was draining down a bit and he looked to the twins, grinning at both and giving a peace sign to Mila. "Thanks! And evil slime covered Mrs. Claus is a great Halloween Costume." He chuckled, looking over to Muriel and blinking. "Oh hey Muriel. What did you think of the floor show?"
"I would have gone with, 'Green butted hobgoblin' or 'Santa's little leper,'" Keha adds to Mila, Kirsi, and Joachim, in discussing thesauri and uncreative insults. She reaches up to hug her sister's arm as it comes around her, then slides (yes, slides, ectoplasm is slippery, no matter how quickly it evaporates) over to check on the bleeding man. "I wish I was that kind of doctor, too, Kaikaina, in times like this - I mean, if he was like, a mollusk or a clam I could probably be more use," she offers as an apology to the poor girl trying to staunch the bleeding with her sweater. "Did I hear something about beer?" she grins up at Joachim. "But is there more haunted house first? I wanna see what the creepy little elves are up to!" She grins broadly, and glances over to Muriel with sudden melodrama, pointing a gooey finger at the redhead. "Tell us what your people are up to, Wahine Elf!"
With the departed departed, Santa Heath killed the last of the mostly foamed and spill the beer and crushed the can. "Ho... Ho... Ho..." The man took a deep breath and shook his head, "Well Santa's Little Helpers, there are maybe 5 beers left and a couple of stuff animals. Please consider the fallen before imbibing and attempting to offer medical aid. Santa may have to call his reindeer for a re-up." His lips made a popping noise on the last syllable and he walked his way over to the bag to pull out the beer and two stuffed animals to set on the floor. Standing as straight as he could. "Santa is going to have to find the bathroom and test the snow, I think." Sniffing, he took his empty bag with him to the bathroom.
As folks continue to battle icky goopy spectral creepies, Muriel continues to watch and laugh a bit, having grabbed a can of beer from somewhere and humming a merry Christmas tune as she sits back and enjoys the er..Entertainment?
However, inevitably, when one of the spectral creepies explodes into ectoplasmic ickiness, Muriel is right in the line of fire, and her pretty green dress is totally splashed in icky gooey stuff!
"What the...Are you kidding me!?" Geez, that was a brand new dress! This is gonna take months to get those stains ou..
Of course there are hurt people now, and Muriel doesn't really care, but with a shrug she pulls out her phone. Of course someone else gets to it first. "Okaay..Maybe they were real afterall.." she murmurs with a frown, glancing around, and stalking towards the nearby bathroom. Naturally, she does her best to clean up the icky gooey mess on her own dress first.
A few minutes later, she returns with a towel to dry herself up with, and the first aid kit, pulling out some gauze and disinfectant, handing it to Keha.
"Here, do something with this."
Hey, at least she's trying to be helpful!
Annd, finally she notices nerdy Joa amidst all the chaos and chuckles, "Aloha, Joha. Nice little lightshow y'got at the end there. I suppose I should thank ye all for the entertainment." Annd she just sat back and watched it all, being (mostly) unhelpful.
"Like your jokes," tosses Kirsi to Joachim, but with a dimpled smirk that says it's all in jest. She shakes her head at if she knows what to do for the dude. "Not my expertise. I kick shit and wave my hand at things and things happen," she says with a grin, but she glances at the girlfriend of the unconscious guy. "Hey, go with the strangers beating him up story or they'll put you in the psych ward for observation, miss. You don't want that, trust me. Especially near Christmas. He'll be okay." She begins to head for the stairs, "Drinks or no drinks, I'm out before the cops come."
The girl looks up at Keha when she comes over, and she seems too distraught even to parse what is being said very well, but any help is taken. "Thank you," she says, and the young man groans again, stirring a little bit as the bleeding gets staunched by the sweater. The addition of the first aid kit is a welcome one, however it's used. And Mila wasn't wrong -- it's not long after that sirens can be heard. Hopefully they're coming this way.
With almost snake like speed, Conni homes in on the beer, ripping one off the back and then holding the rest for the others. "Okay, so no beer breath for those performing CPR, everyone else is good though right?" Cracking open a beer with one hand, Conni does her best to drain half before looking back to the others. "Okay, now I feel more human. This was a good fight! Well done guys! Oh and a new record, we didn't end up fighting each other this time." This is said with a grin towards Mila and Keha, "Well, almost no fighting." Still grinning, she return's Joachim's hi-five, "Yeah, I couldn't resist. Had to be done really, I mean...my top!"
Mila moved over and leaned down to grab herself a beer, and one for Keha. "I got your drink, kaikuahine! You keep saving the life!" Then Mila picked up one of the teddy bears from the stack that Heath had made, bringing it over to hand it to the distraught girl. "Here sweetie, hug this, so you don't go hug him while she's trying to help him stop bleeding, neh? Ambulance is on the way, everything's gonna be OK." She couldn't help the slight smile as she realized she was rhyming.... everything. Then she cleared her throat. "Mahalo for the drinks and toys, Santa!" Then she looked over at Conni and gave a wide grin. "That was just a sisterly slap on the ass to get me going, she feels the need to do that sometimes, when she's reminded mine's better." Mila winked to Conni and then looked over at Joachim and Kirsi, nodding to them both. "You guys take care, neh? I'll hang here with Keha, because I'm not leaving her behind. It'll all be good, the clear stuff goes away fast, so it'll just look like a weird party foul of some sort." Mila looked over at Muriel then and offered a smile. "Mahalo for the supplies, that should really help. And don't freak out much about that dress, it'll be faded within the next minute or so to nothing, like it never happened. You won't even see a spot."
Joachim nodded, thumbing at Kirsi. "I'm with her. Listen, if anyone wants to talk at some point I'm at Ho'okipa." He smiled as he headed for the door, nodding to the twins. "Alright. I hope he's ok." He passed by Heath, raising a hand at the beer. "Thanks, but I'll leave it to you guys for now. Definitely take a rain check though." He stepped out of the room but quickly stuck his head back in. "Oh and someone help me come up with a cool name for that attack. Good luck!" He waved and disappeared down the hall and out to safety.
"You belong on the nice list...or better yet, the nicest naughty list," Keha thanks Muriel with a wink as the woman in the elf dress returns with the first aid kit. "Mahalo for this, I can actually do something useful after all." She uses an antiseptic wipe to clean her hands, then a fresh one to start cleaning sweater fuzz out of the man's headwound. Some gauze pads, pressure, and a nice snug bandage, and Keha brushes her hands against one another. "Head wounds bleed like friggin' crazy, but this is actually pretty shallow. They'll probably do a CT scan or something to make sure he doesn't have a concussion after being unconscious." Satisfied, she grins up at her sister. "Thanks for grabbing that beer for me, Kaikaina, let's hang out here with these guys until the jump suits get here to take care of them. Conni, I challenge you to a drinking contest after this is over!" She raises her hand and waves to Joachim. "Yeah, I think having questions is kind of an understatement. See you in Waikiki sometime soon, bro."
Santa Heath came out of the bathroom looking wide-eyed with blown pupils. Staring at everyone, he sniffed, "HO! HO! HO! The snow is great, none of that artifical snow, eight and a half inches if anyone was wondering. Santa's lap would be available for best wishes, but I fear the questioning would have Santa's lawyers throwing tantrums, and put them on the Naughty List which would just complicate the matter. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!" The man sniffed the air again before licking his index finger and rubbing his gums. "Also, my beard may have increased in value considerably, please do not let small children play with it." Santa threw up a peace sign and bolted, sending out a final 'HO! HO! HO!' as he ran to get out of this nuthouse.
"Of course I do.." Muriel smirks at Keha, before peering back at Santa Heath, winking at him, flipping her long red curls over her shoulder. "An' I hope Santa's got a special gift for me, hmm?" although it's been a long night, and she yawns tiredly, lifting a hand to wave at Joachim. "Good night, Joa, think I need t'head out meself.." And with another bow and wave, she heads for the door. "I suppose I should say, 'Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!'" ugh. Lame. Well. Whatever. Tata!
The girl looks blankly up as Mila when she speaks, but she does reach to take the teddy bear, and hugs it tightly as she watches Keha administer the first aid. The young man blinks, his eyes opening and closing a few times, but this sign of life does also seem to make the girl a little bit less distraught.
It's only a minute more before the paramedics are coming up the stairs and into the room. There's something to be said for blowing doors off their hinges -- it makes walking through them much easier. "How's he doing?" one of them asks the young woman, as the other checks the semi-conscious man. "Thanks for the help," he says to Keha with a little smile when he sees the first aid started, so he must think that she did a pretty good job.
"Someone...someone hit his head," the girl replies through tears. "They ran out after they did it!" Apparently Kirsi's suggestion did penetrate -- and what has really happened is already fading from her mundane mind. People will convince themselves of anything to try and make sense of the supernatural.
They get him on the stretcher and the girl goes with them, and even though she's already forgetting exactly //what// happened, she knows that she was helped by all. "Thank you," she says, and hopefully it will do for everyone, because it's only another second before they're out the door and down the stairs. A minute later, the sirens can be heard again, fading into the distance.
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